Welcome to sunny Burnistoun! This fine Scottish city is not anywhere near as bad as anyone makes it out to be! Here you can say ‘Hello!’ to Burnistoun punters like the Burnistoun Butcher, pop starlet Kelly McGlade and Burnistoun’s favourite son, Biscuity Boyle! Why not buy some sweets from those charming ice cream van boys, Paul and Walter? And then pay respects to their dead mother. Try some freshly baked rolls from our many newsagents. Discuss buffet etiquette with Peter and Scott. Stop at the traffic lights on the Dekebone roundabout! And travel up and down in one of Burnistoun’s amazing working voice-activated lifts! Come to Burnistoun! Bring the whole family! BURNISTOUN!